Following on from my post on British class society and how the lives of the upper classes differ from the rest, I'd like to take a closer look at the country's elite, based on my experiences. As a reminder, my wife was educated on a full scholarship at one of the most prestigious private schools in the country (and subsequently at the best universities), therefore our circle of British friends is made up of various social classes, including the so-called elite.
So how are they? Well, again, the first thing to realise is that the world is not black and white. Some of our friends have attended elite educational institutions due to their wealthy parents, while others have made it into this circle through talent and hard work via scholarships. You are more likely to belong to the elite if you have enough money, but there are also other options for entering this circle with its networks and better career options (even if the options are becoming fewer and fewer). But even though our friends have different family backgrounds, they have been influenced by the system.
Our friends in this circle are all as highly educated as the British system allows, their schools have also encouraged them to think for themselves, to experience the world in a variety of ways and to develop their personality. They are artistically active, if not professionally then privately, are regular visitors of London's diverse museum landscape and travel to faraway countries. They are marvellous conversationalists, with intelligent views and insights, and always keen to broaden their horizons. The natural network that forms at elite British educational institutions also means that our group features “guest appearances” of up-and-coming personalities.
Of course, my experiences with the elite through our friends have a big blind spot: they wouldn't be our friends if we didn't like them. But let me dwell on this group for a moment.
It's not all sunshine and roses for our friends. Some of them are struggling with their careers and are plagued by self-doubt. Of course, this is the case for many people (in my experience, especially the more intelligent ones with empathy), but it seems to me the influence of school also plays a role here. A friend told me at length about her problems at work. One project was not finalised for various reasons. She analysed in detail what the reasons were, with a particular focus on why she couldn't influence them and concluded with the statement: "The project failed, but I'm still not worthless." The questioning "or?" was written all over her face. Her self-esteem was apparently strongly defined by her professional success. An attitude that I have often noticed in this circle, and which is probably no coincidence.
As you can read in my article on Eton College, pupils at independent schools are in constant competition with each other, pupil against pupil and group against group, in academic competitions or sporting contests. The pressure to succeed is great, also through the judgements of others (teachers, team and house members), so much so that it becomes a defining personality trait. The result can be extreme self-doubt at school or in professional life later on.
I am not alone in this assessment. Harry Eyres, Eton Alumni, King's Scholar, Newcastle Classical prize winner, and short-term teacher at the college, reports on the pressure at school [1]. He describes his own dejection and mentions the suicide of four classmates shortly after leaving the college. As I said, the demands are high and not everyone can stand the pressure.
But of course, there is a group that has no problems with the demands. Not that its members are successful in all their endeavours, not at all, but they are so convinced of themselves that setbacks are simply not their fault. (Eyres also talks about the famous Eton confidence that many pupils develop). This sometimes makes for quite astonishing anecdotes.
A friend worked for a large company in the City (of London). One day, a senior position became vacant. However, it was not filled from the pool of talented junior staff. It was filled by an external candidate. Well, perhaps he was particularly suited to the job, or the management wanted to bring some fresh air into the company. The fact that nobody knew him from the industry was certainly not an important point, was it?
Unfortunately, the newcomer drove the project entrusted to him into chaos from day one. He ignored every warning or advice and eventually it failed miserably. Of course, the outcome did not plunge him into a crisis. The client was to blame for the failure. The company was Irish, his contacts there were Irish. Naturally, the client wanted to see the project fail. After all, he was British and all Irish hate the British. It was as simple as that. Without any self-doubt, he immediately took on the next project.
How did he get to this one despite the failure? Or rather, how did he get the job in the first place, even though he had proven that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing? At some point, the staff learnt that the gentleman didn't actually come from the industry, nor had he received any suitable training. But his daddy was an old university mate of one of the bosses and the old boys' network has to stick together. Our friend soon left the company...
But I wanted to tell you about my own experiences. We like our circle of friends from the ground up, but sometimes someone from “that other group” joins the ranks (through marriage, for example... well). So let’s talk about one very special specimen.
This gentleman, let's call him Mr Oxford - after all he studied there - can't help but share his wisdom anywhere and everywhere.
During one of our meetings with him, he asked me out of the blue whether I knew that the German constitution was written by the British and also the Americans. Unfortunately, I had to answer I did not. Not because I was unaware of the origin of the German constitution, but because his statement was incorrect.
Of course, after the second world war without the consent of the British, Americans and French(!), a draft constitution would never have been drawn up in the western occupation zones, and without their consent it could hardly have been implemented. But neither the British nor the Americans wrote our Constitution. This task was left to the Germans for very good reasons. A democracy should not begin with the dictation of the constitution by foreign powers.
I tried to find out whether my counterpart was referring to the supervision of the occupying powers or the traditions on which our constitution was based, but no. According to Mr Oxford, the British had written our constitution word for word. I tried to convince him otherwise with all sorts of arguments, but his answer didn't go beyond "No I’m right".... Fun fact: Mr Oxford had studied history.
Of course, Mr Oxford comes from a staunchly British-conservative family that generally doesn't put much stock in real facts or reason. This was particularly evident during the pandemic.
When we met (or had to meet) in the summer of 2020, when the country had a low number of Covid infections despite the governments ignorance (the government had to face reality at some point and declare a lockdown), Mr Oxford of course had to make it clear that he didn't think much of any of these rules, and that the now mandatory mask requirement in particular was clear evidence of the UK drifting into a police state.
I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. Firstly, we constantly have to abide by laws and rules that restrict our personal freedom for the greater good, such as speed limits or the "obligation" to wear clothes in public (believe me, you don't want to see Mr Oxford naked.) That little piece of cloth on your face certainly doesn't make Britain a police state - quite the opposite. The UK is obsessed with monitoring every square metre of public space with cameras. A mask protects private freedom rather than restricting it, not to mention providing additional protection against the virus. (Before the pandemic, it did happen that the police stopped people wearing a scarf that was too thick in front of their face so that they could remove it. Otherwise, they would not be recognisable through the camera eye).
Of course, Mr Oxford and his blood relatives paid no attention to any rules and prohibitions afterwards either. When the virus spread among them, the infections were neither reported to the authorities nor were contact persons informed or quarantine measures taken. Of course, Mr Oxford also got infected and carried the virus into his own home, where his wife was with their first born (fortunately, the episode had no long-term consequences. But it wasn't due to his behaviour).
Ok, you might have a different opinion on the pandemic than I do (which will be a topic soon), or you will want to point out that there are a lot of arrogant idiots in Germany who think they are a gift to humanity and incapable to failure. Of course you are right. This type of person can be found everywhere. But I've met more of them in the UK, and it seems to me they are better connected and have more influence in society. Keep this point in mind, for example, in case a government representative (many of them former private school students and/or graduates of one of the elite universities) once again criticises the many foreigners (formerly: the EU), because it is due to hem that the UK has so many problems. It can't be down to the British elite, they are infallible.
PS: FYI concerning Oxford and the elite: the last 5 prime ministers of the UK (David Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunak) all studied in Oxford.
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