The Opium Wars were absurd: the Chinese Empire, which had the largest population and arguably the largest economy at that time, were forced to submit to a tiny island nation from the other side of the world. It sounds incredulous. Just how incredulous becomes apparent when we look at similar contemporary geopolitical relations…
Image adapted from Wikipedia
Coca is grown in South America, especially in Colombia. As luck would have it, the drug cocaine can be produced from this traditional crop. Its sale is much more lucrative than that of coca tea. And it has a much larger market, for example in the world's largest economy, the USA, which sees itself as the leading nation of mankind.
A few dealers set out to deliver the drug to the United States. Unfortunately, it is illegal there. The US authorities seize the cocaine and arrest the dealers. So far so true.
But now the poor drug lords are complaining to their governments: The evil Americans, those from the North, have seized our products and arrested our partners. Do you politicians think it is right for your citizens to be harassed and robbed by a foreign power? We want to be compensated! And anyway, what about free trade?!
Things are heating up in Colombia's parliament. On the one hand, it is a bit embarrassing to be the godfather of drug trafficking, on the other hand, you have to protect your own citizens. Besides, it's about an important industry that flushes wealth into the country. The benefits of the drug trade are obvious.
The government sends a letter to Washington demanding compensation and the release of its compatriots, legalization of cocaine in the U.S., duty-free imports, the handover of Miami and its port to establish a permanent Colombian presence, and the cession of its permanent seat on the UN Security Council.
To add emphasis to the threat, Colombia is reorienting its satellite weapons. Space-based ray guns destroy a few military bases and smaller cities. The nuclear missiles the U.S. launches in retaliation are destroyed while still in the air. The American president has no choice but to respond to the demands. Spurred on by Colombia's success, the other states of South America also realign their space weapons and force similar agreements. Free trade has won!
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